Why A Biblical Counseling Ministry Belongs in the Local Church

by Dr. Alden Laird

Many years ago, a young married couple visited our church and asked to see me after the worship service. After we exchanged the usual pleasantries, they began to share, with some difficulty, the reason they had come to our church. The husband had a serious longterm problem with pornography and wanted to know if I would counsel them. Upon inquiry, [ learned that they were in a fine Bible-believing church, they liked their pastor, and also appreciated the caring body of believers. They had not shared this problem with their pastor and indicated they would be too embarrassed for anyone in the church to counsel with them. I could repeat scores of similar conversations and experiences with those who seek an "outside source."

This illustrates a very popular theory in the church today. It proposes that a dispute or personal problem is best served by a neutral counselor outside the local church. On the surface, this might appear to be a wise perspective. Proponents point to several so-called advantages, including neutrality, confidentiality, and greater transparency in the counseling sessions. I want to be fair and not rule out the possibility of a "neutral" biblical counselor in certain situations. What should two Christian businessmen do if their companies have a dispute, they attend different churches, their pastors do not agree, and they cannot resolve the matter? Yes, there is a place for what is known as "Christian mediation and conflict resolution," utilizing the resources of a neutral, objective biblical counselor or arbitration board. The Apostle Paul admonished the believers at Corinth to avoid taking another believer "before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints" (l. Cor. 6:1-8). Certainly, it is far better to seek a "third party" godly biblical counselor or counselors for assistance in certain cases. But, in the far majority of cases, the principle is this: God has ordained the local church and its spiritual leaders to assist with the personal problems and disputes that may arise among believers.

Our counseling staff at "Return to the Word" has given a great deal of thought as to where counseling should take place. With more than ten years of responses from thousands of callers across the country, we have seen over and over again the problem that exists when counseling goes outside the local church. This is why we consistently refer people back to their local church and their pastors. It is not only our experience that counselees find the best help when they go back to their own church, but it is first and foremost the plan laid out for us in the Scriptures.

First is the matter of authority. The Bible clearly teaches that the local church is given the right and responsibility to not only govern its own affairs, but also the authority to judge matters within the church (1 Cor. 6:12, 13). Christ is the head of the church (Col. 1:18), and yet He also delegates leadership and grants authority (within certain boundaries) to pastors and spiritual leaders (Heb. 13:7, 17; 1 Thess. 5:12, 13). As an example, I would seriously question why a man would ask his wife to submit to his leadership if he himself has not first demonstrated his willingness and faithfulness to the leadership of those God has placed over him. Therefore, the value of local church counsel is that it provides the spiritual leaders an opportunity to evaluate if everyone involved in the dispute or conflict has first demonstrated submission to their rightful leaders.

Second is the issue of accountability. When counseling goes outside the local church, any advantage of neutrality and/or confidentiality must be weighted against the far greater liability of having virtually no ability to hold each person accountable. How could an outside counselor, for example, take a counselee through the Matthew 18 (church discipline) process if he/she continued to live in rebellion to God's Word? The counselor's role is reduced to that of being a mediator or consultant. That is why so many in a marital dispute are turning to the courts because the church has failed or not been allowed to exercise its God-given role of authority over such matters. Why is it that even for many Christians, they want a "Church Wedding" but in the end seek only a civil (court) dissolution of the marriage instead of seeking godly counsel?

Third is the issue of continuity. How can an outside counselor continue to follow-up and provide long-term counseling from a distance? From my perspective, this presents the same problem as people who rely only on their television or radio pastor. Therefore, we consistently recommend our callers to seek counsel from their own pastor. The pastor and leaders of the church are the ones who are charged with the responsibility to shepherd their flock (1 Pet. 5:1, 2) and stay abreast of their spiritual condition (Prow. 27:23). This is why my beginning illustration urged the couple to go back to their local church and their pastor and ask for help. Do we really believe that a local church is a family of believers under divinely appointed leadership? Sometimes we don't act like it - especially when a problem develops. Unfortunately, many have not received the help and care they need because it is rare for "outside counseling" to provide the long-term assistance that believers need to correct a problem and mature in the faith.

Ken Sande, executive director of the Institute for Christian Coalition, who himself regularly conciliates business, family, employment, and church disputes, writes in his well-written book, The Peacemaker - A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict: Some of the best conciliators are people who are personally acquainted with you or your opponent; or better yet, who know both of you quite well ... this potential for bias should be more than offset by their commitment before God to do what is just and right. In fact, my experience has shown that someone who knows you well will have the freedom to be honest and frank, and that is exactly what you need in a conciliator." Sande takes a strong position for seeking resolution first from the local church.

Are there times when a church may refuse to get involved? Yes. It is often a sad fact of our day. I wish there was never a time to have to recommend "third party" counseling - to refer people "to a biblical counselor in their area," but many churches and pastors have dropped the ball and leave many with no alternatives. Even so, I believe all Christians ought to first appeal and challenge their church and leaders to assume their biblical role of shepherding, counseling, and discipling their own flock. We have had a growing number who have accepted our counseling requirement that we will not counsel members from another church unless they bring their pastor or another spiritual leader with them. What marvelous results God has graciously given in many of these situations as pastors and leaders see that we have the all-sufficient Word of God as our resource and that biblical counseling does not require a "rocket science" type of skill. The requirements are a knowledge of God's Word and living it out in personal life (1 Tim. 4:11-16). Let's get back to God's book and God's ways.